Delicious Morning

I decided you all needed a good sex post. It’s been awhile.

This morning I woke up at 9am. I felt well rested and so comfy I just wanted to stay in bed all day. Luckily I didn’t have to be anywhere until noon. I turned on the tv and started watching some show. After a few minutes my husband woke up and grabbed me from behind in a soft and loving hug. I love how he does that. He is so cute in the mornings. We watched tv for a while and then he got up to check his email.

I got bored with tv and grabbed one of my toys out of the bedside table drawer. I started rubbing my clit with it while laying on my stomach kind of on my knees with my head buried in my pillow (favorite position to masturbate), and I didn’t think he’d noticed until I realized that he was at the foot of the bed. I asked him what he was doing and he said, “filming.” He had started up the webcam and was sharing my masturbation with 42 adoring fans on adultfriendfinder! I love to have people watch me masturbate so I came almost immediately. Once I was finished with my toy he got behind me and fucked me on cam. He fucked me so hard and fast that my head was spinning with pleasure. I love to just be fucked like that. I like it when he just gets behind me and shoves his cock inside me. I felt his cock twitch as he came inside me and felt the huge rush of cum when he pulled out. I made sure he got some pics of the cum running down my leg. It looks so slutty.

After the “show” we just lazed around chatting and watching more tv. I decided that I should probably get up and shower and get going for the day. It was 10:45am after all! He had other ideas…..

As I attempted to untangle my arms and legs from his, he somehow manuevered himself so that his head landed between my legs. Since I was still naked it was easy for him to dive in and start licking my clit. I tried to protest, saying that I had to get going, it was getting late. He ignored my protests and kept licking. It felt so good. I was moaning and yelling and screaming with pleasure. His tongue just always knows exactly what to do to give me maximum pleasure. I could feel my orgasm start to come on and when he slid a finger inside my pussy it pushed me over the edge. I screamed as I came….. It felt so good I think I blacked out for a second or two because the next thing I know his cock is inside my pussy. He starts to gently push it in and out of my pussy. It started to drive me nuts because all I wanted was for him to fuck me hard. I wanted him to use me like a slut. I begged him to fuck me harder, and he teased me for what seemed like forever, lightly caressing my nipples while his cock moved slowly in and out of me. Finally, after I had been lulled to complacency he slammed his cock inside me and started to pick up speed and force. He had me screaming in no time as he just fucked me hard. I came again as I felt his cock slamming inside me over and over. It was just what I needed. He pinched my hard nipples as he shot his load of cum deep inside me.

It was just what I needed!!!

Mini-Crisis

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Not just my own, but sort of in general. I see people around me in happy relationships, I see people in miserable ones, too. There are two lovely ladies who keep really great blogs that I read regularly. They both came to a fork in their relationship roads recently. One chose to stay with her husband and the other chose not to. I see the pain they are dealing with, and wonder how it happened and also, could it happen to me? The more I think about this the more I wonder if I’ll be facing a similar situation someday.

As it stands, I have an amazing husband. He has his faults and hurts my feelings from time to time, but I know that this is normal for relationships. There is no perfect relationship. He supports me as best he can, both emotionally and sexually. I know he would support me financially if I needed it, and he has in the past. He says he’ll never leave me, but what if things change? What if he cheats on me? What if I cheat on him? What if we change and are no longer compatible. For me personally, I am standing at the top of a cliff professionally right now. I’m just finishing graduate school, and I can either take flight and start a great career, or I can crash to the ground as a failure. What if I change during the process of trying to fly? What happens if he decides he doesn’t want to be my co-pilot? How can I confidently say that he will never leave me? How do I become an independant woman without distancing myself from him completely? Nobody can answer these questions. I just have to believe somehow that “it” won’t happen to us. That we’ll never have to make a decision about whether or not to conntinue our relationship.

Is there anyone out there who has been through a divorce/breakup who has any light to shed on these questions? Did you think you would be together forever? How did you realize that you weren’t happy and needed out?

Another part that is difficult for me these days is: how dare I complain about such a wonderful man when there are so many women who would appreciate him? Is it wrong for me to expect more from him? Or should I be resigned to the fact that it will never get any better and I should just learn to live with his “shortcomings?” With so many people in unhappy or nonexistant relationships, how do I get rid of the guilt of being happy?

Observation (part one)

One of the best things I like about sitting in a coffee shop alone is all the people watching I can do. The coffee shop I am in right now is pretty empty. There are tons of comfy chairs and couches as well as tables with chairs all over the place. I’m sitting in the back in a dark corner so I can see pretty much everything that is going on. There is a group of two couches facing each other with a low table in between them. When I got here there was a young lady sitting and studying on one of the couches. About 15 minutes later a middle aged man comes and sits across from her. Now, these two couches are pretty close together and this man obviously doesn’t know this girl. He just sat down across from her for no apparent reason.

Then his cell phone rings. Extremely loud and annoying ring tone and then he answers the call and talks in a normal voice for 20 minutes. Who answers a phone in a coffee shop where people are studying and talks loudly? He’s very rude. I feel sorry for the folks trying to concentrate. A lot of people are shooting annoyed looks in his direction. He’s the oldest one here by about 30 years.

He’s not an unattractive man. Of course I prefer men about his age anyway, but somehow I’m finding his rudeness a bit of a turn on. He obviously does not care what anyone else thinks of him. From his half of his phone conversation I figured out he is in town on a business trip. I wish he would start talking to the girl he’s sitting with. What if he propositioned her? What if they really do know each other and are playing out some sort of scenario or something? Maybe he’ll talk to her and ask her name….

Hi, what’s your name?

–Anna.

What are you studying?

–chemistry

Aha, how’s it going?

–crappy

Why’s that?

–I’d rather go out and have fun

So why are you studying on a Friday night?

–I dunno, there’s nothing going on around here tonight.

Yeah, I’m just in town for the weekend and I was bored so I came over here to pass the time.

–That’s cool.

What do you like to do for fun?

–Oh nothing special, just hang out with friends.

You’re pretty cute do you have a boyfriend?

–That’s none of your business!

Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward, but I can’t stop looking at your pretty eyes.

–ok, you should probably go now. You are creeping me out.

No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to creep you out. I’m just kind of lonely tonight.

–um, that’s fine, but what does that have to do with me?

I was wondering if you might want to go have a drink in my hotel room later

–Get real, I’m not going anywhere with a strange man.

Well then let’s talk so I’m not a stranger anymore.

–You’ll still be a stranger no matter what you try with me tonight.

Oh, come on. Let’s just talk and get to know one another a little better. You can study tomorrow. I just want to talk.

–Well ok if we are just going to talk that’s fine, but I won’t be going anywhere with you.

Ok, that’s fine with me.

They talked for three hours until the coffee shop closed. They enjoyed each other’s company so much Anna agreed to going to his hotel room so they could talk some more. The man, Ed, knew then that he’d get her into bed. She was such an easy target. Such a sweet young girl ready for the taking.

They walk into the hotel room and Anna nervously sits down in a chair by the window. Ed produces a bottle of whiskey out of his luggage, grabs two glasses, and sits down across from Anna.

More to come…

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When I first started to keep a blog it was on blogster. When the new owners came I left. It wasn’t the type of place I wanted to be associated with any more. I had made a few acquaintances there and when I first came to blogger they welcomed me with open arms. I feel badly about not making more comments on their blogs, but honestly I just don’t know what to write anymore. I never really was part of the group, but I like reading their blogs. Some of them even put my new blog in their links section, but at least one of them has removed my link. It’s probably because of the content of my blog here. When I was at blogster I didn’t talk about sex like I do here. It may be offensive to some. The one person from this group that I know for sure removed me is a great lady, but I don’t want to offend her. I’m actually very afraid of that very thing. I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against her or anyone else. I’m just sad that I let these old blogster acquaintances drift away. I really do want to comment on your blogs, but I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to offend you. So, if any of you still read my blog I apologize for not commenting more.

Sorry…not a sexy post

I had a pretty bad week. I started seeing a counselor/therapist on Monday. I need someone on my side who knows nobody in my life. I think I just need help sorting some things out. I don’t know how much it will help to see someone weekly, but I’m going to try it because nothing else is working. I have found that I don’t have any friends in my daily life that I can talk to about all the facets of my life. I still haven’t decided if I am going to talk about my sexual lifestyle with my therapist. I don’t know if I’m ready to relate it to my daily life just yet. I’m still sorting through some of the social implications. I am learning just how puritanical this country is. Nobody is ready to accept someone who is free sexually. I don’t want to feel lie a deviant because there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex with as many people as I want to. I’m not hurting anyone by pursuing this, but it is very hard to explain that to the normal person on the street. There is such a social stigma, and yet people love to hear about sex in general. Popular culture is driven by two things, one is money and the other is sex. That’s it. There is nothing more important. So then why is it so hard for my friends to respect me? Why is it “horrifying” for me to have sex with people other than my husband? I’m not doing this to anyone else, and everyone involved is doing so consensually. I’m not hurting anyone. It’s just pleasure, pure and simple. So here’s the deal. I told one of my closest friends about my then upcoming encounter with my new friend whom I have talked about here before. She was “horrified” by it. She wasn’t even willing to talk about it one bit. She basically told me that she never wanted to hear another word about it. We’ve stayed friends, but it has never been the same since. I’m still grieving over the loss of her friendship. I should have never said anything, but I so needed someone to talk to about my new experiences. I thought she’d be there for me no matter what. I was so wrong it felt like a slap in the face when she rejected me. This may be my own fault, but I have absolutely nobody to talk to where I can be completely honest about everything I have experienced and everything I currently am experiencing. I guess I need to come to terms with being a liar. At least the kind who leaves things out when she doesn’t want that person to know something. It’s virtually impossible for me to lie to someone’s face. They can always tell instantly. I wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes that really sucks! I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut when I really need to. My private thoughts should stay private and I shouldn’t be sharing them with friends. I can’t trust them to keep things to themselves anyway. I used to be able to trust my friends, but now after this most recent fiasco I no longer have that trust in anyone. I guess I am feeling very alone right now. I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be ok. I need lots of hugs. I’m feeling extremely needy right now, and I hate it when I feel this way. I need to snap out of it!!!!!!!!