Tired. Very tired.

I’m exhausted. Not because of any sort of fun activity, as in sexual activity. No, I’m tired emotionally. I had a good start of my day with my parents. We made it through brunch and a long shopping trip to an outlet mall in 100 degree heat. Things were even great while cooking supper; I was thinking we were in the home stretch. I was a fool. While we ate the conversation turned to birthdays and that of course made my mother lovingly relate a wonderful story of the birth of my younger brother; he broke her tailbone. Once the subject of childbirth came up I knew it was only a matter of time before she started in on her harassment of me regarding my lack of children. I tried, in vain, to change the subject. My husband and father even noticed and tried to steer the topic of conversation back to something mundane, like the hot as hell weather. I won’t go into too many details, but I’ll just say that it ended with me crying and my husband comforting me by squeezing my knee under the table. I was starting to feel a little better, but my irrational female side kept creeping back and threatening to make me cry for the rest of the meal.

Then the board games began. My mother is a child when it comes to games. I tried my hardest to help her win every time, but mostly it just made me more angry. I like just playing the games. That’s why they are fun, but for her it’s not fun unless she wins.

Oh well, just writing this is making me feel better.

I’m very, very horny. When I’m upset like I have been today, my husband is super affectionate. Take this morning, he woke me up by touching my face lightly. It was such a tender touch, and we just stayed in bed for a while longer just touching each other. I’ve been horny all day. I love when he wakes me like that. I just wish we could get an hour alone in our bedroom with them out of the house…. I need it bad.

The dreaded parent visit, and reflections on my current life.

My parents arrived this afternoon. Ok, I love my parents, but I have had some major problems with my mother this year. We’re finally getting back on permanently friendly terms, but there is still a small amount of tension. I’m always waiting for her next remark. The one that started the whole mess was, “You are ruining my life because you do not have children.” Not as a joke, straight faced, and hurt looking. I couldn’t speak when she said it. After that I basically did not speak to her for two months. She never apologized for what she said, and we never talked about it again. We’re back to “normal” this weekend, but I’m left wondering why she felt I needed to hear that from my mother. It wasn’t an isolated sentiment. Here is why I think she’s frantic to be a grandmother. She’s the oldest of four children in her family. All three of her siblings have grandchildren, my mother does not. I’m my mother’s oldest child. The problem is, most of my cousins stayed in the town we all grew up in, and got local jobs right out of college. I left home to go to graduate school, and my choice of fields ensures that I will never live in that town again due to the lack of available work. It would be foolish for me to have children when I am still a student and before I am gainfully employed. I know there is no perfect time to have children, but there are times that are better than others.

Being a student is not the only reason I don’t want children yet. I’m enjoying myself too much to mess it up with a baby. Not only will I not have time to just fuck whoever I feel like, but I’m terrified of the changes that could happen to my body. I’m scared that I will view sex differently than I do now. I never ever want to turn into the woman who refuses to have sex with her husband because she doesn’t desire him anymore. I never want to go for weeks, months, years, or decades without sex. That sounds like a death sentence to me.

I like my new lifestyle. I’ve never been happier in my life. I’ve never felt more confident in myself personally. I’ve never felt more loved or treasured by my husband. I’ve never been more sexually satisfied. I love the look in my husband’s eyes when he watches another man bring me to a powerful orgasm. I love the sounds he makes when he’s cumming inside another woman. I love the feeling I get after meeting a new lover for the first time.

I guess I could chalk this all up to selfishness and not acting like a “grown-up”, but I don’t want to live up to other people’s expectations. I don’t want to live my mother’s life. She is not a happy woman. I do not think she is happy with the way her life turned out, and maybe part of the problems we’ve had in the past are related to her jealousy of me. I left our tiny little town in the middle of nowhere and will never live there again.

All in all I am confident that this week-long visit/trip will be better than the last visit I had with them. I’m not getting my hopes up, but I am not expecting disaster. On Tuesday the three of us (my husband, conveniently, has to work) will be heading two states away to visit my brother for a few days. We get back to my place on Saturday evening, and my parents will leave to go home on Sunday. So, think of me as I navigate my way through all the pitfalls of FAMILY VACATION TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the hardest part will be no sex for a week. I’m already going crazy. It’s only going to be worse as the week goes on. Oh well, who knows, maybe I’ll meet some guy and sneak off with him while my family fights with each other.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!

Buried.

It seems that my favorite recent post has become buried below some pretty depressing stuff here. Please if you want to read about me getting fucked by an almost complete stranger while my husband watches look below at the post about Saturday afternoon. You won’t be sorry!

Welcome.

There has been a significant increase in traffic on my little old blog. This is in part to a few wonderful people putting me in their side bars. But more specifically from an amazing blog that I had never visited until the owner wrote me a wonderfully encouraging email yesterday. The gentleman calls himself Clayton Holiday over at http://theholidaylife.blogspot.com

He gave me some welcome words of encouragement, and a compliment or two. That’s always nice to read! I don’t know what will become of my blog in the future, but as my lifestyle unfolds before me I will definitely be sharing it here.

So, to all you new readers stopping by: welcome and I hope you return. Leave a comment while you are here.

Hell on earth.

I just stumbled across a blog that made me cry almost instantly. It is written by a man who is married to a woman who doesn’t really like sex. Ok, that’s tons of couples, but what made this blog bring me to the saddest moment I’ve had in a long time was how he has completely subjugated his passion in order to fit into a perceived role in his marriage and church.

I am not aiming to offend anyone, but what I’m about to write about might just do that. I apologize in advance. Ok, I don’t even know where to start. The first thing that drew my attention was his series of posts about stopping watching porn and stopping masturbating. His reason - because he shouldn’t fantasize about any other woman except his wife. Because porn was making his life less fulfilled and it was a waste of time to masturbate. This guy really had to struggle to stop viewing porn of any kind. He went to extreme lengths to avoid seeing any sex scenes, in even regular movies.

After reading about a dozen of his posts I could not read any further - I couldn’t see because I had started to cry. It was uncontrollable. Why did I have such a reaction? His blog epitomizes the very thing I have grown to hate about being an American. I think if he could he’d like to just turn off all horomones and go sexless for the rest of his life. It certainly would make his wife happy from what I can tell.

He seems like a really nice guy, but there is something evil about someone deciding that sex is not a natural part of the human existance. It’s rotten to the core. What is next? Will humor be the next thing to be banned? Don’t laugh at that joke, jesus wouldn’t want you to. Then what else… let’s see…. maybe we won’t get to see colors. That brings me pleasure, seeing a beautiful sunset or enjoying the color of my husband’s eyes.

I am having a hard time processing the words this man writes. I’m sitting here still crying trying to find a way to express why I feel so incredibly sad when I read his words. I mean the title of his blog is even fade to numb. He’s proud of his progress into the pleasureless world he covets. That’s what makes me so sad. That maybe people will read his blog and decide that he’s right and they will metaphorically cut their dicks off for their god.

Ok, that’s kind of crude of me to say it that way, but I just had to. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating or looking at beautiful pictures of people having sex or showing their bodies. How can anyone believe that masturbating is wrong? Who could it possibly be hurting?

This guy says that the reason he needed to stop masturbating is because he found himself fantasizing about people other than his wife. So what? It’s called having an imagination. As long as he’s not re-enacting the fantasies with the neighbor lady then there is nothing wrong with it. He tells the story of when he “fell off the wagon” and masturbated after not doing it for 13 months. The reason he did it? To get rid of an unwanted erection that just wouldn’t go away. I think his body was trying to tell him something. Maybe it was like a message from himself to himself, “hello? I’m still human. I need to masturbate immediately or else I’m going to go crazy!!!”

His wife doesn’t like to be touched in any sort of way. Sexual or not. She feels it encroaches on her personal space. As for touching in a sexual manner? It’s icky. She claims to have never masturbated. She won’t let him give her oral sex either, that’s unthinkable. And as you might have guessed already, she won’t let a cock anywhere near her mouth. Why? It’s dirty; that’s where pee comes out!!!

Ok, I can’t even deal with this anymore. I’m distraught, and need to masturbate or something…..

Edit: If anyone wants to view this guy’s blog let me know and I’ll forward you the url. I don’t want to post it here because that’s just rude.

Hello?

I seem to be getting a few hits a day on here, but there are few comments. What kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t beg for comments? Do you like what you see? Do you have any questions or suggestions? Come on, help me out here.

The next day

I’m still horny from yesterday. This always happens when I have so much sex that I’m sore. My husband fucked me again last night and twice this morning. It’s unprecedented! I’m not complaining in the least bit either. I’m too sore to fuck again today. I never thought I would say that, but I’m so sore that it would be too painful to take another cock. But that doesn’t mean I’m not completely horny right now. If the right guy showed up at my door right now I’d probably fuck him anyway. Any takers?

Wonderful Saturday Afternoon

*Sigh* I really should be sleeping right now. I just came so many times I cannot count. I feel so amazingly good that I wanted to write this post now so I don’t forget this feeling. I just got fucked. By my new neighborhood friend. That’s right, I found a fuck friend that lives literally down the street. He WALKED over this afternoon for some fun. I’ve chatted with this guy a few times over the course of the past week. His pics were hot and I knew that I’d like playing with his cock. He’s a little shorter than me, but he has a very nicely formed and long dick of a pretty nice width and a compact, muscular body.

He got here and the second I saw him I knew I was going to have fun. He was not shy and came in and introduced himself to my husband. Since I’m annoyingly shy, I admire people who aren’t. We went upstairs to the spare bedroom, and when I turned around and saw him reach the top step I noticed he was already hard.

He took his cock out of his shorts right away and I started playing with it. I had it in my mouth in no time. His hands were on my head and in my hair as I sucked his cock. I especially like it when the guy “makes” me take it in as far as I can. He started touching my breasts through my shirt. We took our clothes off and he had me lay back on the bed. He knelt beside me and started playing with my pussy while I stroked his cock.

This guy really knew exactly where to touch me. I don’t know how he figured it out right away, but he found the spot on my clit where I love to be touched. I was extremely wet after only a few seconds of his expert touch. He put some fingers inside me and found my g-spot. I came almost right away after he started doing that. He knew just how much to slow down on my clit after I came. He made me cum a few more times. I couldn’t keep track because my head was swimming in pleasure.

He asked me if I wanted him inside me. That is so sexy!!! I mean I obviously did want his lovely cock buried deep inside me, but for him to ask was HOT. I love the instant right before I feel a new cock inside me for the first time. I was on my back and he was on top of me, and as he slowly slid into me our eyes met. Eye contact is the ultimate in sexy for me. I love being looked at with eyes filled with lust for me. I love knowing that he is experiencing pleasure, too. As he started to move inside me, he didn’t go all the way in from the start, but once he did the world stopped. It felt so incredibly good. He fucked me slowly, then fast and hard. He grabbed my breasts as he slammed his cock inside me. My pussy tightened around his amazing cock as I came yet again staring into his eyes the whole time. When he started to get close to cumming he grabbed my breasts and fucked me harder than ever. There is nothing better than watching a man cum like that. I’ve never been with a man who makes such intense eye contact.

It wasn’t stupidly awkward after we were finished either. I was grateful for that. My husband had taken quite a few pictures and little video clips with our camera. We’ll be sharing them with Neighbor Guy (NG).

As if that wasn’t enough for this slut, once he left my husband jumped on me. I was up for it and soon my husband was fucking me. That was the best way to end such an encounter. He was so horny after watching me with NG that he just had to have me. I feel like a very lucky girl. Very well satisfied, but now I can’t wait for the next time I see NG.

Visions

I have visions of cocks running through my head. Last night my husband put me on webcam in adultfriendfinder. I had forgotten how hot it makes me to masturbate for 100+ viewers. I was laying on my bed on my stomach and up on my knees and he was filming it from behind while I rubbed my clit with my favorite vibrator. I had my laptop by my head so I could see what I looked like as well as what sort of comments I was getting. My husband wouldn’t let me cum. He could tell by my moans when I was getting close and he would order me to stop. It was maddening and I was soooo wet. I needed to cum so bad. When he finally let me it was instantaneous and amazing. I was still shaking when I finally came down from my orgasm. He wasn’t done with me yet. He had me roll over and situated the camera so all those people could watch him fuck me. He fucked me good and hard. It was feeling so good I never wanted it to end. Before he came he pulled out so he could shoot all over my face. It was very hot. I hadn’t had a guy come on my face like that before. The whole evening made me feel like a total slut. Just what I needed. We rested and watched a little TV then he was after me again. I was exhausted and half asleep so I thought he would just give up once he noticed how out of it I was, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. I tried to tell him to stop, but he needed to fuck me again. I can’t say I actually wanted him to stop. I like feeling like he’s using me for his pleasure. I love to be controlled.

Back to the title. After last night I’m sitting here on my break thinking only about cocks. I’m super horny and I need to suck someone off tonight. Someone who’s not my husband cause I want him to take pictures. Also, I’m needing a big cock to play with. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is big, but just wide. He’s not that long. Even though I prefer a wide cock to a long one, sometimes I just want some variety. I want to suck a long thick cock and then feel it fucking me hard and deep.

I’m in a horny phase if you haven’t figured out by my new batch of sexy posts. I actually think the “horny phase” is my normal state, and my health problems have seriously erased my libido in recent months. Since I’m feeling better I guess I’m back to normal. I hope it lasts!!!!

I’m a bit hurt.

Ok, so here goes. I’m going to post again about something that has been really bothering me. When I started blogging over a year ago I was over on blogster before the current owners ruined the place. While there I became what I would call blog friends with a few people. I regularly read their blogs and comment from time to time. A while back one of them blocked my IP from accessing her blog. I can’t think of anything I would have done or said that would make her angry enough to do such a thing. I truely enjoyed reading her blog. So I emailed her about it. No response. Before I was unceremoniously blocked from her blog I remember a post about her hating people being judgemental. The reason I bring this up is I think she may have blocked me because of the content of this blog. She’s not churchy or anything like that, and I thought she was a great lady. But if she’s blocking me from simply reading her blog because of my sexual lifestyle then that is the ultimate in judgemental. I was even considering hiring her to make me a new template for my blog (she has a small design thing going). Why is it that people who complain about others being judgemental are the most judgemental themselves. I have written to her and apologized for anything I may have done to her. I can’t imagine what kind of slight she might be thinking of. The only reason I can come up with is that she is just afraid to think about sex in a pleasureable sort of way. I’m not going to badmouth her any further, but I could and damn that would feel good. I could put up her url so you could all go visit her, but then she’d probably blow up my computer somehow. Anyone who may be reading this: don’t pretend to hate people who are judgemental and then turn around and act that way yourself. It’s hypocritical.