I’m home.

I arrived home this morning. I had to get up at 3am today to catch my flight and I didn’t get home until 9am at which point I was utterly exhausted and proceeded to sleep. Well not immediately anyway. My husband had missed me too much to just let me drift off to sleep. We had some pretty passionate sex. I so missed his tongue and cock! It had been a long time since we had sex before I even left for ND so this reunion was more than pleasurable…it was magical. I am still amazed at how much pleasure he can give me. It doesn’t seem possible, but the sex continues to get better and better overall.

My trip was more than a little difficult. I will write about it in another post. It just doesn’t seem right to combine it with this one.

Distractions necessary.

I usually handle hard times in my life by letting it all out by drinking, having lots of sex, or doing something else bad for me. Right now my only option is drinking so I guess I’ll be doing a lot of that. I’m glad I brought my laptop with me because I can use it to keep my mind off of why I’m here. There is a lot of downtime when visiting someone in the hospital. We can’t stay in his room for very long because we have to wear gowns, gloves, and masks to go in and it’s really hot. Plus, he gets tired easily. He didn’t recognize me at first this morning, but after lunch he asked about my husband by name. It’s weird how he goes in and out of lucidity.

Cousins have been trickling into town and I’m dreading going back to the hospital tonight because there might be a family showdown. I talked to my uncle this afternoon and he sounded really rough. It kills me to know that my dad and his next oldest brother are going through this struggle all while dealing with losing their father.

When it rains it pours.

So this morning when I was getting my taxes done my mother called. I let it go to voicemail, but when we were done with the painful tax ordeal I listened to the message and called her back. There was bad news about my grandfather. He’s been sick as long as I can remember, but he’s always pulled through. I guess he’s so stubborn he just won’t die. Anyway, he’s in the hospital again and this time the doctors say he won’t be coming out. This is my dad’s dad and the whole family is falling apart. My dad’s siblings are fighting and it just makes everything worse for everybody involved. My grandfather has a lot of money from a lawsuit back in the 90s. My dad is the youngest of four kids and is the only successful one. He’s the only one who didn’t continue to ask his dad for money his entire life. He’s the only one to go to college. He’s the only one who hasn’t been divorced (although he probably should have been a long time ago!). Basically the vultures are circling around the money now that my grandfather is about to die. It’s been really hard on my dad and his next oldest brother who is also not a leach like the oldest two.

So, I’m on my way home to North Dakota. I’m sitting in the Minneapolis airport bored, anxious, and upset all at the same time.

Plus, today I got an email about that freak of a mother from yesterday. They called the music store to try to get me fired. She said some horrible things about me. She said I was a horrible teacher and should not be allowed to teach any other students. She actually demanded that I be fired or she would contact the owner of the company. My boss was great about it. She had already talked to both the store manager and the owner of the company and they were both telling her to just cancel these people off my schedule. My boss then told the Lady that I was in fact a great teacher and have a pretty long waiting list, that people drive in from over 1 hour away for lessons with me, and that me teaching beginners is like a physician teaching someone to put on a bandaid. I love my boss!

The only thing I’m kind of bummed about is I wish I could have dismissed them before they called. Oh well.

I’m glad I’m getting away from it all for a few days. Maybe this trip will be good for me somehow. I (obviously) have my laptop so I’ll be online as much as possible cause I need all the friends I can get now.

Yesterday sucked.

I had a difficult day yesterday. My very first student yesterday afternoon was a complete and utter disaster. The student was fine other than not practicing once again. Then mother came in my studio with the door still open and interrogated me about what her daughter needs to do to improve this week. She came on so strong that I immediately got flustered and couldn’t come up with something to say that would placate her. It was terrible! Then after the next lesson (sister of first student) the mother came back in, shut the door and let me have it. She yelled at me and told me I said horrible things about her daughter. She kept asking me if I really thought I could handle teaching her daughter. She questioned my abilities as a teacher and pretty much made me feel like I didn’t know what I was doing. She upset me so much I could barely speak, and of course I started crying. I think she was glad that she made me cry because she seemed pleased about it. She finally left and I spent the next 15 minutes sobbing on the floor of my studio with the lights off while my next student waited outside the door. I was devastated. Nobody has ever spoken to me like that. I was angry that I let someone like that get to me the way she did. For the next few hours I was reeling so much I actually started to believe the horrible things she said to me. It was almost impossible to teach the rest of the students, but I somehow made it through the rest of the day.

While she was chewing me out with the door open another teacher heard her and almost came in to tell her to stop treating me that way. I found this out at the end of the night when two teachers and our boss came to talk to me in my studio. They were concerned about what happened, and wanted me to know that they think I should boot these people from my studio. It felt nice to know that these women all thought highly enough of me to stick up for me when I was down. The three of them were shocked that a parent would treat a teacher that way. Also, they were concerned for the student because the door was open during the first part and she could hear every word that was said.

I’m taking a large portion of the blame for this incident. I did say some things that could have been misunderstood by the mother. I was under fire and extremely flustered. One of my biggest fears in life is that I’m going to say something stupid - and yesterday I believe I did. Now I’m racking my brain trying to think of things that I may have said to this student in the past that she could tell her mother that could get taken the wrong way. My style of teaching is very direct. If there is something wrong I’ll stop the student and have them correct it until they can get it right. With this particular student I can say something to her every week and she comes back still doing it the wrong way. There are times when I cannot find a way to make her do it correctly. This does not make me a bad teacher.

So, do I dismiss them from my studio? I can’t decide. Part of my philosophy on life is that everybody deserves more than one chance. What if she was just having a really bad day? On the other hand, I would like to dismiss them before they can quit my studio if that’s what they are planning to do. This family’s payment history is perfect, but I have had problems with this mother from day one. I’ve always been a little scared of her; she’s very intense.

What should I do?

I went out again.

I went out with two friends tonight. We went downtown here in my college town and braved the masses of scantily clad undergrads and their moron boy toys with “popped” collars. We went to a place that was not as tightly packed as most bars downtown on a Saturday night. We played pool, and had a few drinks. And I actually got hit on even though I was skeptical about it. A guy who had kind of been hanging around us but not talking to us came over to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I looked at him and laughed because I figured it was a joke. Then he said, “No really, what are you drinking?” I was kind of speechless, but I told him and he brought me my next drink. We talked for a few minutes and then I think he noticed my wedding ring (should have taken it off to go to the bar without my husband!) because he didn’t stick around very long.

My friends wanted to go dancing and dance clubs are not my thing so I decided to go home. Once I got to my car in the parking garage I decided I didn’t want to go home just yet. I had my camera in my car so I went to the top floor of the parking structure and took some pictures of the beautiful downtown area. I love my little college town, and I don’t really want to leave. It suits me here.

I was up there for about 45 minutes just taking pictures and people watching from my prime vantage point. Then my friend called and said that they didn’t like the dance club and were playing on a playground. I went and picked them up and we went to a diner for some breakfast food. I just got home and it’s after 3am.

I feel like an undergrad again!!!! Life is good.

He wouldn’t…

take no for an answer this afternoon. My husband was so nice, cuddly and romantic this afternoon that I let him have his way with me. (I’m a nice wife like that, huh?) Well, he certainly made sure I was more than turned on, and wouldn’t take no for an answer when I told him I didn’t want to have another painful orgasm. It felt horrible and perfect all at once. It’s really hard to describe. I think I kind of liked it….

I definitely needed the release because I’ve been going crazy lately. And he was being so nice to me today. It was a really nice afternoon, but of course it made me sleepy and fuzzy in the head. Oh well. It was worth it.

Morning thunderstorm.

There is nothing sexier than a morning thunderstrom. I woke up early to get ready for work just as a gentle thunderstorm was rolling in. I had to stay in bed and enjoy the sounds of the storm until the last possible minute. What I really wanted to do was wake up my husband with my mouth on his cock and see where that went, but that would have only been teasing him because I still can’t have sex. grrrrrrrr….

Nasty.

I think a new definition of nasty was created last night. I went to a local bar/restaurant with two friends last night. It was still early, probably around 9pm. We were sitting there drinking and eating pizza when we noticed a seemingly homeless man walk into the bar area. He looked like the weird guy in the movie Office Space - the one with the stapler, remember? The actor’s name is Stephen Root and the character he played was Milton. Anyway, he got a beer from the bar and then tried to sit with us. We said no, you can not join us. He was being a little pushy, but he smelled REALLY bad so we were firm in our denial. So, he took a stool from the neighboring table and basically sat between the two tables and stared at us in a creepy manner. We did our best to ignore him and he seemed to start to lose interest. A few minutes he noticed a girl sitting by herself at a table nearby. Her friend had gotten up to use the restroom or something. He went over to talk to her and was standing really close to her. My friends and I decided we had to save this girl even though we didn’t know her. One of my friends went over and sat with her and started a conversation with her so the guy would leave. He did, and she was sooooo thankful that we saved her from him. Well the second she’s alone again he goes back. So we save her again and he walks away. We decided that we should tell our waitress to get the manager to ask this guy to leave. He was extremely intoxicated and acting totally inappropriately. The manager comes over and asks us what is wrong and we explain the situation and he says that if the weirdo does something again he’ll ask him to leave. By then the girl’s friend had returned and they paid for their drinks and left. So, we decided to trap the bastard. One of my friends and I got up to “go to the bathroom” and leave our one friend alone at the table. She’s a tough bitch and was itching to let him have it. So we go around the corner and watch the whole thing. As soon as we were out of sight he approached her and said, “Hey sexy, I’ve been on the road for 6 months. What are you doing tonight? I really need some pussy.” She didn’t even get to say anything back to him because the manager was standing right behind him and heard every word. The manager grabbed the guy by his jacket and said, “You need to leave. Now.” The guy tried to get away, but the bartender came and helped the manager haul him out of there. It was awesome to see, but man that guy was nasty!!!!

Spring?

Could it really be spring here? I’ve looked at the weather report and it seems to be saying it will stay in the 50s and 60s for the next ten days. I can’t even believe that spring could be happening this early. I’ve lived here for four years and I still haven’t gotten used to the seasons changing the way they do here. I’m still used to winter going until mid April. I guess since I probably won’t be visiting North Dakota in the spring time ever again (just not an opportune time of year to travel that far for a social visit) maybe I should become more acclimated to my surroundings.

I started fake baking. I needed some sunlight and it had been cloudy for more than 7 days straight. I feel like I’m the oldest person every time I go into the tanning place, but damn if it doesn’t feel good to bake in the fake sun for 10 minutes while nasty pop music blares throughout the whole establishment. No really, it’s relaxing somehow. Weird, I know.

Last night my husband and I were chatting with a hot young guy we are going to meet up with soon, and he got so horny thinking about watching me get fucked by this guy that he came upstairs and basically said that he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Since I’m currently “out of commission” I didn’t expect him to even suggest it, but I’m not one to leave my husband horny when I can at least be his cum recepticle (lol). I don’t like to have orgasms during this time because they are very painful to me. They just turn into one big cramp. Sucks. Anyway he had me on my hands and knees on the bed and was fucking me hard and it just felt so damn good!! I was trying not to cum, but his cock has a way of making it happen even when I’m trying not to. A huge orgasm washed over me and it felt good for a few seconds then the knot tightened in my belly and it was HORRIBLE. And AWESOME. Such a swirling mix of pain and pleasure. In the end I was more relaxed and had some wicked dreams last night, which I’m sure are a direct result of the weird pain/pleasure mix.

St. Patricks Day.

Last night was crazy! I was thinking today while basking in the warm glow of a tanning bed that I have gone out or partied for the last three weekends. It’s unlike me to do this, but it didn’t used to be like that. I always went out every weekend. Then I got married. Being married carries a lot of guilt for me regarding leaving my husband out. I like spending time with him and sort of let my friendships fall away.

Anyway, last night we went to see a band we both love. I have actually never gone out on St. Patrick’s Day before. Walking into that bar was like walking into an alternate universe. The people that were there were from so many different groups it was hard to take it all in. There were your typical young sluts with their pretty little boy toys. There were people dressed like leprechauns. There were men in kilts. There were scantily clad older ladies. There were young professionals. There were the “gaming” folk - wearing wizard robes and other nerd gear. There were old people, young people, kids (yeah children in a freaking bar!!!), freaks, weirdos, and everything in between.

The band we went to see is a celtic folk music group that has a VERY loyal fan base in our area. We go to most of their shows and see these people at all of them. But to see them decked out for St. Patricks day was unreal.

There is one group in particular that I love to watch. I’m convinced they are some sort of role-playing, dungeons & dragons expert, wizard-loving sex group. They are always making out with each other and grabbing each other in very sexual ways. I love seeing it! It doesn’t seem to phase any of the fans that go to these shows either. Last night I think I even saw guys kissing each other. It was kinda hot to see these people going at it like that in plain view of everyone.

I saw something last night that I’m still chuckling about today. There was a guy walking around towards the end of the night who had obviously either sat in something or pissed himself. He was oblivious to it, and kept running around and people would stare and laugh. At one point he stole one of the band member’s hats from just offstage and then went up onstage to return it. The whole crowd was laughing up a storm after seeing the back of his pants. HILARIOUS.

It was a night of intensely fun people watching. It was the best show I’ve ever seen this band give. What a great time!!!!!!!!!