I am horny, but….

I need to keep working. Jack shaved his face this morning. He usually shaves about every other week since he hates doing it and he’s actually hot with stubble. Well, stubble doesn’t feel that great on the pussy lips when they are shaved. He’s been talking about shaving me again so when I noticed his smooth cheeks this morning it put an idea in my head. I love it when he is the one to shave me. The whole act always makes me hot. I am going to ask him to shave me when I get home from work tonight. Smooth face on smooth pussy=lots of licking. Maybe I’ll squirt again.

So, even though I’m super horny I am going to wait until after work tonight. I so want to masturbate, but I’ll be a good girl and wait.

I squirted all over Jack’s face.

Well, the title pretty much sums up my evening. I just had the best orgasm of my life so far. Jack was licking me while fingering my g-spot and when I came I squirted all over his face. I was screaming and carrying on so much that he actually had to ask if it hurt or something. I’m still feeling really good and it’s been 15 minutes or so since it happened. I guess that’s all……can’t really think about anything else right now.

I LOVE JACK!!!!!!!!!!

Fireworks.

Ah, what a trite title for this post. Well, Jack didn’t have to work today. Furthermore, he got off work early yesterday. He called me at 3:00 to say he was coming home. So, I decided to dress up for him. I put on a black push up bra, black thong, very (VERY!) short black skirt, and a bright orange tank top that barely covered my bra. The bra created quite the cleavage…I love my tits sometimes! lol

I had told him to come up stairs when he came home. When I heard him I sauntered out into his view as he walked up the stairs. He seemed to like what he saw so I walked into our bedroom and bent over so he could inspect what was under my skirt. He touched and grabbed my ass for a while then gave me a few spanks. I was getting pretty turned on. He stood me up and we kissed, but all I could think about was sucking his cock. I told him to get undressed and lay on the bed. His clothes were off in mere seconds and my lips were wrapped around his cock. I positioned myself kneeling so that he’d have access to ass while I sucked him. He pulled the thong aside and started to rub his finger into my pussy and then on to my clit. He kept rubbing while I sucked him and he made me cum with his cock in my mouth.

Next I took off the panties and lay down so he could lick me. I held my lips open for him, waiting for his tongue on my clit. He teased me only a bit before getting down to business. As I lay there with his tongue working my clit I was getting very turned on by my tits. Because of the push up bra they were kind of in my face when I laid down. I’m a big fan of tits in general so that was pretty hot for me. He licked me for a minute or so and I was dying to have something inside me. These days the fastest way to get me to cum is to rub my clit while penetrating me. He wouldn’t do it - he just kept licking me until I came all over his face. While I was still cumming he slowly pushed a finger inside me and fucked me with it - making my orgasm last a lot longer. Wow, that was amazing. When I asked him later why he wouldn’t finger me while he licked me and he said he just wanted to prove to himself that he could still make me cum with tongue alone.

I still needed more inside me so I made him fuck me. It was a great fuck…. always is with him anyway, but this was just better. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: AFTERNOON SEX IS THE BEST!

After we recovered and got dressed, we decided to have a date night since it was the start of a holiday weekend. We went mini golfing and had dinner out. Then we were going to go grocery shopping, but realized how close to a friends’ (one of Jack’s co-workers) house we were after dinner so we decided to stop by. We ended up chatting the night away and enjoying the sunset and lightening bugs. It was a very pleasant and unplanned evening. We never did make it to the grocery store.

Then today I slept in for the first time in a few weeks. I woke up around 10, and Jack had already gone downstairs. I threw on some clothes and went downstairs. I guess I was stretching in a provocative way because Jack’s eyes lit up and he started groping me. We went upstairs and he decided we needed to fuck. I was already groggy and didn’t want to cum because that would have made me tired for the whole day. So he fucked me and was careful not to make me cum. It still felt really really good and I loved every minute of it.

I was energized after that so we got dressed and went to the grocery store. We came home and watched tv for a bit. Then he was playing around with the PS3 and surfing the internet on it. He brought up my blog and I got to see it for the first time on our big tv (some of you will remember, but Jack insisted that we buy a monster 52″ LCD tv back in January). That means my tits were on the tv! I had him go to sexandsubmission.com to see if we could get one of the videos to play. I have a membership on that site and it’s got some hot stuff….lots of fake stuff, but occasionally there will be a scene that really gets me going. Today’s update was one of those times. We watched almost the entire thing and got all horny watching the girl get beat up and actually marked (never seen a mark on any of the girls on that site before)! When the scene was over Jack came over to me on the couch and rubbed my clit (I’d already had my hand in my pants…hee hee), but he wouldn’t let me cum. It was really frustrating. By the time I sat up I was feeling lightheaded and really tired. I decided to go upstairs and take a short nap. As I left the room all Jack said was, “don’t you dare turn on your toy up there.” I laughed and went upstairs. I slept for about 45 minutes and he came up to wake me. He snuggled up behind me on the bed and started lightly rubbing one of my nipples. I love how he wakes me up. We kissed and touched for a bit then decided I would use my hitachi on my clit (since I was craving it after he forbade me to use it earlier - it hadn’t even crossed my mind until he said that) while fingering me.

I lay back with the vibe between my legs and he got into position. It didn’t take me long to cum really hard. Mmmm… that was a good orgasm. I can still remember how it felt. DELICIOUS! I felt so so so good afterwards. Jack decided he needed to fuck me. He pulled me to the edge of the bed so he could fuck me in his favorite position. He loves being able to stand up and fuck me. I like it for a while, but my hips start to hurt after a while in that position for some reason. My pussy was already a bit sore from the sex yesterday and this morning so it wasn’t long before it started to hurt. That turned me on even more (I guess I like pain? lol) and I came a bunch of times. He was lasting forever! This was one time that I had to ply all of my tricks on him to get him to cum because I was just getting too sore. I started saying things like, “fuck me!” and, “fuck my cunt.” I’m such an innocent girl, right? He finally came and when he did it was super intense. He was in a daze for like 15 minutes afterwards. Wow.

Then we made supper - just hotdogs on the grill. It’s the 4th of July that’s required, right? We had a few drinks and then headed into town to see the fireworks. It was awesome except for the traffic jam part afterwards. Then when we got home we went out back and lit the sparklers we had bought. They were pretty awesome for sparklers. They had three different stages including one that shot showers of sparks. Not bad for the grocery store!

Even though it’s a holiday weekend I still have to work tomorrow. Have to make money somehow.

It’s been a good weekend already and the actual weekend hasn’t even started yet. Hope you all had a good 4th!

News.

I had my procedure today. The appointment was originally scheduled for two weeks ago, but it had gotten canceled by the doctor’s office and rescheduled. I knew what to expect and my doctor made everything pretty easy.

Right now everything looks normal and she told me I have nothing to worry about. She took a sample of some more cells just to make sure everything is 100% ok.

I’m feeling back to normal now after not much pain right following my appointment. I have no restrictions as far as sex goes so if Jack’s in the mood I’ll be getting it tonight. I made him masturbate last night instead of fucking because I didn’t want “evidence” of our session visible to the doctor.

I’m sorry I’ve been absent lately. There are reasons and some of you know them. The biggest reason this past week is I have been getting work done on the diss. Some road blocks have been thrown in my way, but I’m not going to let that stop me.

One more item. One of the links on my sidebar is now dead. I will not remove it, but just so you know it’s dead and left there for a reason. Sharing Dee is gone for good. I’m very sad about this, but Joe’s pretty much been absent from blogging for about a year now. He had a really interesting blog for a while, and was an inspiration to me. Sad to see him take down his blog completely. He will be missed by many people. Mike over at Shared Cindy put up a great post about Joe today.

It’s time.

I guess I haven’t been posting much lately. I’ve had a lot of fun experiences in the past few weeks so I will catch you all up on them.

Last weekend I went to a strip club for the first time in my life. Well, actually I had been to one before, but that was just to deliver a pizza. I was a conservative little virgin church goer at the time so I was totally embarrassed to be in there. I literally looked at the floor the entire time I was there. I just walked in and waited for the person who’d ordered to approach me.

Well, this time was much different. It was Jack and I with a bunch of friends we met on AFF. We all met and had dinner at a bar somewhere out in the middle of nowhere then headed over to the strip club.

I was a bit nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I was mainly afraid that Jack would do something to embarrass me. I thought he’d tease me for being nervous and he did, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. See, he gets angry with me when I let him go through doors first. He gets mad when I stand behind him while waiting in line. And sometimes (like last night when we went out for dinner) he makes a big deal of it and humiliates me in public. He finds it funny and I just want to disappear when it happens. I’m not allowed to get angry because then he’ll be mad and we all know what happens then: silence from him for days.

Our group was pretty free compared to the other patrons at the club. We were throwing ice cubes down shirts and putting ice in people’s pants, etc. Just kind of acting like horny teenagers. It was fun to watch. Towards the end of the night they all ganged up on me and “forced” me to go sit right up front of the stage. I guess strippers like it when women come because they can show the women’s tits and then the men tip even better because there are more naked tits and that’s what they came to see. I must admit that I like that arrangement, and even though I was nervous I enjoyed every minute of having a naked stripper lift up my shirt and bra and touch her nipples to mine. The men sitting next to me must have liked it too because they were cheering. I heard none of that because I was in the zone (aka nervous!!!!!!!!), but Jack confirmed their pleasure in seeing my naked tits.

All in all I can’t wait to go back. It was a comfortable atmosphere for me. I didn’t have to feel weird for looking at beautiful women’s bodies.

Let’s see….what else have we done…..

Oh yeah, the other night I stayed up late working on my dissertation research (was enjoying getting back to my night owl roots - used to be able to work my absolute best from 10pm to 2am) while Jack went to bed at about 10pm. At 2am I came to bed and woke him up by touching him and playing with his cock. I made him wake up and fuck me. Poor guy - was pretty dazed after we finished because he sat there sitting up and staring at the television for like 15 minutes. I had to actually remind him to lay down and go back to sleep. He’s really cute when he’s groggy like that.

Last night it was storming here and that always makes me horny. Well, I wasn’t that horny last night - I had had a long and productive day and was content to watch television. Jack had other ideas. He “dragged” me upstairs and announced, “we’re fucking.” Who am I to argue with that logic? We kissed and touched for a while and I sucked his cock for a bit before he got between my legs and started licking me. He started really slowly just licking my pussy lips and working his way slowly to my clit. He was teasing me and not really licking hard enough. It was driving me crazy. Finally his tongue started to hit the right spots and he started fucking me with two fingers. When I came my whole body felt like it was paralyzed. I felt so good I couldn’t even move. It was such a good orgasm. Then before I could even come down from my high he was positioning his cock outside my pussy and pushing it inside me. I love that feeling when he first pushes in me. He fucked me good and hard while the storm raged outside. It was amazing…I came so hard last night. I’m getting all horny just thinking about it.

Damn. Back to work on my diss.

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Happy Birthday.

It’s Jack’s birthday. I just gave him part of his birthday gift and now he’s sleeping. I’m pretty sure he enjoyed it because he didn’t move much afterward. It all started when he tied up my tits and then immobilized my arms. He had me lay down on the bed on my back and proceeded to torture me with my hitachi magic wand. So much so that he brought me to tears because it was so intense on my clit. After he stopped the torture he touched me and smacked me around some more until I was just crying. Ok, that sentence may sound bad to some of you, but damn I LOVED IT!!

Then he untied me and we snuggled up under a blanket for a while. Then he got between my legs and licked me until I came so hard I almost lost consciousness. Then he fucked me until I came three times and he sprayed his cum inside me.

So, that’s why he is sleeping after getting part of his gift. We might go out for dinner tonight, but then again it’s father’s day…. oh well. Maybe we’ll go to the casino. But whatever we do, I think I’ll let him sleep for a few more minutes. He worked hard for his birthday gift.

I’m ok.

I had my appointment today to discuss the abnormal pap. I love my doctor. She’s always able to make me feel better even when things don’t look perfect. I have to have a procedure next week that will shed more light (literally and figuratively) on the situation. I’m going to get some sort of scope inside me to get a better look at my cervix. Sorry if all this talk about gyno stuff is turning you off. I think many of my readers come here for the sexual stories. Sorry, but right now I’m a bit sidelined. My procedure is next week on Thursday.

Right now I’m feeling ok with the situation. I don’t the massive amounts of anxiety that I had before my appointment. Unfortunately, Jack isn’t here tonight. I’ll be alone in my own bed for only the third time since we got married in 2000. He is undergoing a sleep study at a local clinic. His doctor thinks he may have sleep apnea. I do know that he snores louder than a jet plane. lol But I’ve learned to live with that. I hope he’s sleeping all right tonight.

I heard from a very old friend today. Someone I hadn’t heard from since maybe 2003. She was my best friend in undergrad, but things ended badly between us. She was the first friend I ever “broke up” with. Ever since my first year of college when I met here she was a complete mess. But I looked up to her as a cool friend. I admired her bravery and spunk. She just always did whatever she wanted whether it was a drug or a boy…anything. She left a message on my home answering machine. That means she looked up my number in the phone book or something. I know she was doing grad school somewhere out east, and I gather that she’d be finishing up right about now. I can’t decide whether to call her back… might open up a whole new can of worms. The way things ended was I finally had to tell her it wasn’t cool to call me 8-10 times a day with all of her problems when she wouldn’t even stop talking to ask how my day was. After that conversation I didn’t hear from her for months. Now it’s 5 years later and I can’t imagine what she’d have to say to me.

I guess I should get to bed. I have a nice big bed all to myself with nobody to fight over the tv remote.

Coffee.

Coffee has been my friend today. It helped me stay focused enough to finish what I needed to before work. All day long I’ve been wracked by anxiety. I can feel it rising from my stomach to my lungs and choking me. The world seems fake to me.

I have drowned myself in playing/practicing today. It makes me tear up when I think about how helpful my instrument is when I’m in a bad place mentally/emotionally. I have always had my violin there to comfort me. All I need to do is hold it in my hands and the smooth wood of the neck makes me feel like I am at home. Then when the chin rest touches my neck my heart rate begins to slow. Once the bow touches the strings I am somewhere else for as long as I need. All that exists at that moment is the music I’m playing. Today I did something very cathartic. For about an hour I just played anything and everything that came to mind. I don’t improvise usually. I’m a classical musician so that’s pretty out of the question for me, but today I just needed to play my own music for just myself.

Then I got down to business and worked out several more pages of music - marking the fingerings and bowings I want to use for performance. That’s pretty much all I’ve been doing of late since I’m stuck on the academic side of the project. Once I work my way through all the pieces I have then I might have some more perspective on the composer as a whole.

I want to thank everyone who has been commenting here and also those who have sent me emails. You help me more than you can ever know.

And lastly, I want you all to know how awesome Jack has been the past few days. I am lucky to have him in my life as my husband. He usually knows just what to do to cheer me up and we had a breakthrough on Friday. Friday was the day I got the letter that started all this anxiety. We hadn’t gone grocery shopping in recent memory and therefore, had nothing to make for supper. We decided to go out to eat even though I wasn’t really in the right state of mind. We hadn’t even talked about the letter in person yet. We went to a restaurant and after about 5 minutes of talking at the table I was crying so hard I had to dismiss myself from the table to try to get my wits about me. I went out to the car and as I walked away from the table I realized that everyone in the restaurant was going to think I was having a fight with Jack. Oh well, I just had to tell myself not to worry what people were thinking. I just needed to stop crying. I got in the car, shut the door and just sobbed for a good minute or two. I took some deep breaths and blew my nose, fixed my make up and made my way back inside to our table. Jack and I had a good conversation and he made me feel better just by looking at me with his loving eyes. I’m so glad I have him!!!!!!!

And then everything jerked to a hault.

Got a letter in the mail today with results from my last “yearly” test. I have mild dysplasia on my cervix. Technically it’s not cancer…yet. I have scheduled an appointment with my gyn next week. I guess I will find out more then. I wasn’t told that I have HPV, but that is the likely cause of the dysplasia. If I do have it that will mean the end of my current lifestyle. This is a disease that can be spread even while carefully using condoms. It can also lie dormant for 20 years so there is any number of men I could have gotten this from. It could have come from one of Jack’s female partners, too.

So far all the information I have was found on the internet. I probably read way too much and worried myself more than I need to. I know that people don’t usually share the good stories for stuff like this, but I didn’t come across one positive story for women who have had dysplasia.

I cried when I called Jack to tell him a few minutes ago. I guess I’m upset about it, but I keep trying to tell myself that there is nothing I can do until I talk to my doctor again. I just hate it when someone tells me not to worry when stuff like this happens. No matter how many times I hear someone tell me not to worry it’s not going to help me stop. Can’t just turn off worry. Nothing will help me stop worrying about this….probably until the day I die.