I know I have written about anxiety in the past. I have a lot of it these days. Sometimes I feel like a broken record. I am up for a promotion at my orchestra job. This means I have to participate in an open audition. I won’t lose my position, but if I win this new one I am at the top of my orchestra section. It is a slight raise, but more importantly good for my resume. This orchestra certainly isn’t a full time job, but it might help me get my foot in the door when it comes time to seriously look for university positions. What I’m most afraid about is losing to someone I know. I don’t mind losing to some awesome performer who has great leadership skills. But if it is someone I went to school with, or somone I know from the area I will not be happy. I know I am perfect for this job. I already have subbed in this position many times over the past year, and the orchestra management was pleased with my performance in that capacity. I have been trying to practice every spare moment I have, but then the anxiety kicks in. It’s nearly impossible for me to practice when I’m feeling super anxious. I can’t concentrate, I can’t play worth a damn, and I don’t remember the specifics of the practice session later because of all the adrenaline pumping through me. I hate August. Once the month is over I can resume my normal life.

I need some new cock to take my mind off of this!!!! lol