…I showed up at “the apartment” and we all smoked a bowl and were having a good time. I started to feel weird and it occured to me to ask if the weed was laced with anything. It was, but nobody really knew what it was. I remember seeing things and generally feeling like I was watching everything happen, but wasn’t actually in my body. After a while we all decided that we needed to score some more weed and I was nominated to drive. I was the only one with a car in that group, but I was feeling way too out of it to drive. So, I foolishly let them take my car. Yes that’s right I let known drug users take my car to buy more drugs. Like I said, I was a bit impaired at the time. I could barely move my arms and legs and after everyone left I sat there and started at the wall for what seemed like hours. Then I realized that I wasn’t alone. There was a guy in the opposite corner sitting quietly and pretty much staring at me. This guy didn’t come around “the apartment” much. He was only in town every few weeks to sell heroin otherwise he stayed in California. I mumbled an embarrassed hello to him because I felt bad for ignoring him. After a bit of small talk he came and sat next to me. The place didn’t have actual furniture. Everybody just kind of sat on piles of pillows and cushions. He sat RIGHT next to me. It wasn’t like I could hear or see him if he stayed across the room. I was pretty naive when it came to guys. I remember I got a little nervous, but not because I was afraid of him, but because I didn’t want to say something stupid. Then he started saying things that started to scare me. He said he was glad we were alone. He said that it was his lucky day that I was wearing a skirt. That’s when I realized I was in trouble. He started touching me, and I tried to stand up and get out of there. I couldn’t get away from him. I also realized as I struggled that even if I did get out of the apartment there was nowhere for me to go because the others had my car. It didn’t take much for him to overpower me. After it was over I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. He took off, and I was left to wait for the others to return with my car. It took them forever to get back, and while I waited I cleaned myself up and tried to regain my composure. They finally got back and I left right away. I drove around for a few hours in the country-side smoking an entire pack of cigarettes and trying to decide what to do. I was sitting on the back of my car in the middle of a wheat field watching the sun rise when I finally made my decision. I could tell nobody. I reasoned that since I was doing drugs when it happened the police would arrest me for that and ignore the fact that I was just raped. If I was convicted of a drug related charge I would lose my scholarship and the ability to take out government subsidised student loans. I was only 19 and didn’t trust the police in my small town to believe me. So I told not a soul.