I just got home from the last of two recitals I held for my students to perform. I always love going to these recitals because I get to sit back and enjoy seeing them all play. It’s neat to see them get nervous and to smile when they finish. It gives me a new perspective on their personalities. Tonight I also had new thoughts on performing in general.

If any of you have performed a solo in a recital you’ll know this feeling. It’s your turn to play and you walk up to the stage quickly because you don’t want the people to get bored waiting for you. Once you are up there your brain is screaming, “This is happening too fast.” You just start playing because you are excruciatingly aware that everyone is looking at you and you don’t want to bore them by just waiting around. At this point in my career I love that moment. I love knowing that everyone is waiting in anticipation for me to begin.

As a performer it’s my job to show the audience my version of the piece I’m playing. I’m the one in control. I’m calling all the shots, and they have no choice but to listen to me. That feeling is addictive. It’s my chance to manipulate people. In fact, they showed up willing to be manipulated. I love to make audience members enjoy my performance without even knowing why. I have learned to have a stage presence that collects everyone’s attention and focuses it on me for as long as I want them to. Every movement I make is calculated. Every facial expression is helping to tell the story. I don’t stand perfectly still. I move with the music. Some people have described it as looking like I’m dancing, and in a way I am dancing. However, I don’t move as a reaction to the music like a dancer does. My movements are part of the music as it’s being created.

Sorry for the lack of sex posts and just posts in general. I haven’t had much to write about in the past week. My parents are coming for a visit tomorrow night so there’s much cleaning to be done tonight.

In two weeks I’ll have awesome stories to tell….as long as the parties involved consent to me telling all about it. I’ll have to ask. I’ll still be posting as regularly as I can.