Today I have felt sad all day. Maybe it was just one of those weird days, but I can’t shake this weird feeling that things aren’t quite right. That something bad is going to happen or already has. I have a lot of friends going through rough patches. All day I’ve been trying to put my finger on what I’m really worried about. Here are the things I’m currently worried about and all could be options as to why I’ve been so sad all day:

1) I’m supposed to attend a party on Saturday night at the house of some friends. I just found out today that the man who raped my other friend back in February will be at the party with his wife. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sit in the same room as them. I can’t let on that I know it happened, and nobody else at the party knows about the rape except me and my husband. I’m actually kind of terrified of the whole situation. I wish I didn’t have to go the party, but if I don’t go it will be a significant snub to my friends throwing the party. Plus I get to set off fireworks……

2) I still can’t stop thinking about S and what the last sentence of his email might possibly mean. This makes me sad because I should just put him out of my mind completely. But how?

3) Many of my friends are going through very difficult times in their relationships. At times it seems like I’m the only happily married person I know. I counted and there are 5 different couples either just finalizing a divorce, going through one, or having serious enough problems to be contemplating it. And that’s just the married/engaged ones! There are three other couples that are in tough times.

4) I can’t have sex today and haven’t been able to since Monday…..I’ll let you muse as to why.

5) One of my favorite students just moved away. I actually cried at his last lesson. So did he.

6) It got really hot here the past few days and probably will be until November. I HATE SUMMER!

7) I’m just sad for no reason.

Can anyone help me figure this out?