I started this as a reply to Anna’s comment below, but it turned into it’s own post. These rules are listed in no particular order.

-he can have any kind of sex with anyone he wants at any time. I do not need to be present, although I like to be there.

-I can have sex with anyone as long as he sees me with the person first. Exceptions are made for out of town hook-ups. This rule does not apply to D. I cannot see D without my husband because of the nature of our interactions (you know, cause he beats me).

-anal penetration is prohibited except with my husband

-any BDSM activities must be approved by my husband and D (if he’s there – I guess I probably wouldn’t engage in such activities with anyone other than D or my husband anyway unless it was in the context of a gangbang.)

-no romantic relationships except between my husband and me

-we must use condoms except for oral. The only unprotected sex I will have is with my husband.

-no blood, piss, or crap – that’s just yucky

-either of us can say no at any time and everything stops until we re-negotiate

-when participating in BDSM activities a safeword is always available for use by me or my husband (for me, if I seem unable to say it myself and it’s evident to him that things have gotten out of hand)

-there is also an ever-evolving list of specifically BDSM limits that I won’t go into here.