Got a letter in the mail today with results from my last “yearly” test. I have mild dysplasia on my cervix. Technically it’s not cancer…yet. I have scheduled an appointment with my gyn next week. I guess I will find out more then. I wasn’t told that I have HPV, but that is the likely cause of the dysplasia. If I do have it that will mean the end of my current lifestyle. This is a disease that can be spread even while carefully using condoms. It can also lie dormant for 20 years so there is any number of men I could have gotten this from. It could have come from one of Jack’s female partners, too.

So far all the information I have was found on the internet. I probably read way too much and worried myself more than I need to. I know that people don’t usually share the good stories for stuff like this, but I didn’t come across one positive story for women who have had dysplasia.

I cried when I called Jack to tell him a few minutes ago. I guess I’m upset about it, but I keep trying to tell myself that there is nothing I can do until I talk to my doctor again. I just hate it when someone tells me not to worry when stuff like this happens. No matter how many times I hear someone tell me not to worry it’s not going to help me stop. Can’t just turn off worry. Nothing will help me stop worrying about this….probably until the day I die.