When people have “breakdowns” others often advise them to “get some help.” I’m about to get some help. Lex is the best thing that has ever happened to me. However, I haven’t been truly happy since before he was born. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation in the beginning. Then lack of sex drive. Then just general disappointment for where I have arrived in my life.

I even had a brief freakout when I found out I was pregnant with Lex. Since it was a complete surprise I actually had to process emotions dealing with being forced to become a mother. Even though it was something I had always wanted to happen.

I am going to see my new psychiatrist in an hour. I suspect she will have me start therapy also. We’ll see. I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 18. I’ve been on the same antidepressant since age 22. It’s not working anymore.

This blog has turned into my whine-fest. Let’s hope I can turn things around soon. Sorry for all the crappy posts.