Last night was the first night in my supposed fertile window for this month. We have fertility problems….well, I have fertility problems. I have a condition that prevents me from ovulating on a regular basis. That’s why we were so completely surprised when we found I was pregnant with Lex in 2009. This is the third month of trying fertility drugs. We are at the highest dose of this particular medicine, and I won’t even find out if it was possible to ovulate until the 21st of the month. That means we need to have sex every other day for about a week just to make sure we catch the egg if it actually drops.

Since I’ve been having libido problems having sex every other day is a lot for us. I actually really hate to admit that, and hopefully just fucking a lot will activate my brain to think about sex like a horny teenager again.

So, last night was our first go around for this month. I went and bought a lube called pre-seed (crappy name!) that is supposed to support fertility….basically it doesn’t kill sperm like normal lube. We ended up not even needing it last night because Jack is just awesome. 🙂 He went down on me until I came and we definitely didn’t need any help making me wet. My lady parts do work still… I just don’t “activate” them as much anymore.

This whole business of trying to get knocked up is annoying. I have to wake up at 5am to take my temperature. I have to pee in a cup every day to take at home ovulation tests. I have to take pills that make me kind of crazy and get hot flashes. I wish it just took having sex, but it’s not that easy for us. I just keep reminding myself that I’m already a mother, and Lex is all I really need, but we would like him to have a sibling. If it doesn’t happen I won’t be crushed, and I’m actually sure of that. I’ll be sad for a while I’m sure, but it won’t “ruin my life.”

Lex is sleeping right now. I think I tired him out this morning at the playground. He will be 18 months old on Sunday. I still have moments where I see him as a baby, but he’s definitely a little boy now. Sometimes I still can’t believe he’s mine. 🙂