Last night was the first night in my supposed fertile window for this month. We have fertility problems….well, I have fertility problems. I have a condition that prevents me from ovulating on a regular basis. That’s why we were so completely surprised when we found I was pregnant with Lex in 2009. This is the third month of trying fertility drugs. We are at the highest dose of this particular medicine, and I won’t even find out if it was possible to ovulate until the 21st of the month. That means we need to have sex every other day for about a week just to make sure we catch the egg if it actually drops.

Since I’ve been having libido problems having sex every other day is a lot for us. I actually really hate to admit that, and hopefully just fucking a lot will activate my brain to think about sex like a horny teenager again.

So, last night was our first go around for this month. I went and bought a lube called pre-seed (crappy name!) that is supposed to support fertility….basically it doesn’t kill sperm like normal lube. We ended up not even needing it last night because Jack is just awesome. πŸ™‚ He went down on me until I came and we definitely didn’t need any help making me wet. My lady parts do work still… I just don’t “activate” them as much anymore.

This whole business of trying to get knocked up is annoying. I have to wake up at 5am to take my temperature. I have to pee in a cup every day to take at home ovulation tests. I have to take pills that make me kind of crazy and get hot flashes. I wish it just took having sex, but it’s not that easy for us. I just keep reminding myself that I’m already a mother, and Lex is all I really need, but we would like him to have a sibling. If it doesn’t happen I won’t be crushed, and I’m actually sure of that. I’ll be sad for a while I’m sure, but it won’t “ruin my life.”

Lex is sleeping right now. I think I tired him out this morning at the playground. He will be 18 months old on Sunday. I still have moments where I see him as a baby, but he’s definitely a little boy now. Sometimes I still can’t believe he’s mine. πŸ™‚